I Refuse to Live Like This
I remember thinking, "How do people live like this? This is crazy!"
To those of you that suffer daily from severe anxiety... my heart goes out to you. You are literally living in a prison of your own mind and body. And to top it all off, there has been limited resources, treatment, or awareness. You have been battling alone.
Anxiety was new to me, so I had the blessing of contrast.
I was confident, social, intelligent, driven, and fun, until I suffered repeated trauma, which led to PTSD. I didn't know what was happening or what I was experiencing until I had my first anxiety attack.
And then they kept happening.
When I was finally able to get some help, my anxiety was through the roof. Physical pain in my stomach. Immediate diarrhea. Heart racing. Palms sweaty. Brain fog. Panic. Memory Loss. Social anxiety (which I had NEVER experienced before). New phobias. Emotional flashbacks.
These were happening multiple times a day!
My therapist started small.
Talk therapy gave me an outlet to feel seen and heard.
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing) was able to help with the emotional flashbacks.
But the physical symptoms of anxiety were not going away and they were threatening my career, my relationships, my health, and my sanity.
Finally, she decided to try a new therapy modality she had just been trained in called Brainspotting.
I didn't mind being the guinea pig. I was ready to try ANYTHING!
Our appointment was 55 minutes long. 45 of those minutes in full Brainspotting mode.
When the appointment was done, I was skeptical. I stared at a spot on the screen for 45 minutes and talked through thoughts that came to mind as my therapist emphasized certain truths that came up as I talked. It seemed too simple. I almost couldn't wait to get another abusive text just to see what happened!
Sure enough, right on cue, the next morning I received a text message. I heard the distinct ringtone of his message and I waited for the pain to come.
I waited for the racing heart.
I waited for the diarrhea.
I waited for the brain fog to set in and my focus to be disrupted.
If I could describe the elation and relief I felt when I realized that I could possibly be FREE of this anxiety... it would have to be the scene in Shawshank Redemption when he finally escapes, looks up to the sky, arms outstretched, and screams from his gut in a tone of complete freedom!
Of course I wasn't all wet and covered in crap... but if we are talking metaphors, maybe I was!
When my journey with my therapist ended, meaning I was too mentally healthy to continue (Wow! Can you imagine the relief?), I was urged by my therapist to do Brainspotting and Life Coaching myself. "You'd be perfect for it," she said!
So I completed my training and began practicing.
I am so excited to be a part of this new innovative modality of healing on the front end! It's only been around for the last 15 years and is being perfected and expanded on every year to cover such a range of issues as chronic pain, anxiety, PTSD, ADHD, phobias, suicidal ideation, depression, issues surrounding money and spending, overeating and other unwanted habits, as well as setting and achieving goals in the future. It's great for big traumas & little traumas and people of all ages.
If any of this sounds like something you would like to learn more about, you can either check out the website or give me a call. You can also pass this along to anyone you think needs to know about it!
I love doing free exploratory calls to see if Brainspotting is right for you or someone you care about. It isn't for everyone and there is a questionnaire to ensure efficacy.
visit www.reclaimjournal.com/brainspotting for more information or to schedule a call!